A Year Apart

The time between the last blog post and this one feels like a whole year.

It’s almost November and I am just now posting this. It’s late. I spent the whole month putting this one off for no reason other than laziness. I made a playlist to accompany this blog post. The links for it will be at the bottom. It’s a little something I made to remember October with, a little collection of the sounds and lyrics that have made up the soundtrack of October for me. If you like it or hate it let me know. I’m always looking for new music.

There’s a lot going on. School started back up for me, the fall is finally starting to creep in, and there’s really a lot going on.Despite all that, this is my favorite part of the year. It’s a time where I really feel like anything can happen.

The new semester began last month in early September, for me, and it’s been rough ever since. Online school is annoying and really feels more like a chore than anything. The classes I have this semester aren’t crazy difficult but these professors are dishing out homework as if they hated me. It’s so much. It’s a Tuesday to Friday chore for me and it’s gotten better. I’m off to a strong start but I have to keep reminding myself that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. I need to keep up this steady wave of good work I’ve been on and see it through to the end or at least pretend to. If you’re also in school or doing something similar, you can do it too. If you’re in the same position as me, going to school and all that, you can do it too. This is my third year of college and it feels like I just started yesterday.

I do have one cool thing going on with school though. I started a research project with one of my professors. It’s based around Quantum Computing in cybersecurity. We’re just getting started but I’m actually pretty excited for it. I’ve been spending a good amount of my time reading and learning trying to get a solid foundation on the subject because it’s really all new to me. On top of that it’s a subject that doesn’t have a lot of information out there besides formal papers and math based articles so I really have to spend time with it to understand it, but I’m enjoying myself so far.

If you don’t know, quantum computing is the use of quantum bits or qubits to solve and complete problems and calculations, this stems from quantum physics, so there’s some real technical stuff that’s going on. But first off, bits are what is used by the phones and computers of today to do calculations and store data, they represent 1s or 0s, think of a light switch being on or off. Qubits are probability based, they can be in multiple states, which means that they can be 1 or 0 and even both all at the same time. All of this goes to say that by using qubits a computer can run through several calculations and outcomes simultaneously. This allows it to produce results much faster than a normal computer.

On a more personal note, I’ve been doing great. I’m happy and I’ve been focused on taking care of myself and working towards the future. I’ve really thought about the work I’ve been doing and I’ve seen the flaws in me and my habits and I know what I have to do to be better. I’m my own best friend and enemy.

Besides that, I’ve been crushing hard on this girl. I’ve known her for a while now, but this crush of mine has grown three sizes over the past couple months; just like the Grinch’s heart when he discovered the true meaning of Christmas. This girl has been on my mind like crazy. We don’t talk as much as I’d like, or see each other as much as I’d like, but I can’t complain. At the very least, she still replies when I send a text. It doesn’t matter what she sends, when I see her name on my phone I’m smiling. It’s my new addiction.

I really like her and I try to play it off like I don’t, to save myself, but it doesn’t work. She’s funny and sweet. She can paint and draw, I’ve seen it. She’s ambitious. She has goals and sets herself to a high standard. Which makes me feel like she’s way out of my league, but I’m really lucky. I like her laugh, her voice, her cinnamon eyes, the little nose piercing she has, those small steps the takes when she walks, the way she says YIKES, her coffee order, how she always asks “why” when I say something is this or that, I could go on forever. She’s my crush.

I’ve seen her twice recently. We had coffee the first time then noodles. Coffee was cute. The spot was nice and dimly lit. It had oat milk which was a bit of a surprise, I hadn’t been to any coffee places that had oat milk before. It’s my preferred dairy alternative. I pulled up to the spot and I saw her there, dressed in all white with some cherry red Docs. The complete opposite of me who was dressed in all black. Two beautiful complements. We spent two hours, two minutes, together. I could have gone for two eternities. I hadn’t seen her in months. There was some small talk and some awkwardness, it was like meeting each other for the first time again. There was an improbable probability of us being there, but I was there and so was she. It was real.

Noodles happened more recent. We had lunch at a small spot near her. It was cold that day, perfect weather for a healthy bowl of noodles. I almost felt like it was meant to be. This time we talked with fluidity. I was less nervous, but still some, because how could I not be when seeing her. She got me talking. We were the soundtrack to that tiny restaurant. We ate. We laughed. We smiled. I could get used to that. She told me about her trip to Seattle to visit her sister. Then she said she brought me something from there. How nice is that? I almost ran out the restaurant. It was a little ceramic ghost that I’ll be keeping forever. I told her that I wanted to do that more often and she agreed. Bliss.

October was a slow month. I like the holiday and the month overall, it’s a smooth transition into the end of the year. Orange is my favorite color after all so what’s there not to like. It’s made for me. It was a good month. I learned a lot and did a lot. We have the elections less than a week away so that will be exciting. It’s the most important election in US history, a remarkable event of our lifetime. The intensity is tangible. Maybe we’ll make it. I hope we do. I want to see this girl some more.

I’ll be writing a bit more for the month of November. Like I said earlier I had this blog post in purgatory for a while. It was meant to go up way earlier this month but we’re here now. I just renewed the domain and hosting for the blog so if you’re one of the people that actually reads the things I write you’ll be seeing more for sure.

If you read this whole thing I appreciate you. I love you. You’re doing great. Thank you.

-Jonathan :)

Playlist: SpotifyApple Music

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